Sunday, September 7, 2014

Some of us just don't have a clue.

He didn’t know.

But she did.

When my “younger man” climbed the steps to the school bus for the first time Thursday, he didn’t know he was my baby.
But the stranger watching from the street corner, she knew.
When she saw my nostrils flare and my bottom lip quiver, she knew.
She knew I prayed for God to give me a healthy child and that I cried in Thanksgiving when he was born. She knew he says, “Good morning” pleasantly every day and that he ran into my bedroom to show off his first loose tooth just yesterday.

She saw me place my big girls calmly on the bus but watched my eyes fill with tears as I said goodbye to my little boy.

I don’t know what she thought. Maybe that I was sad that my baby was growing up. Maybe that commitments prevented me from taking my children to school by myself and I was feeling guilty. Or maybe she understood my realization that he didn’t know who and what he is to me.

We don’t all know. We don’t know what we are to whom, what we mean to the people in our lives. There really is so much we leave unsaid. What would our world look like if we shared these thoughts, these impressions, these feelings with our loved ones?

The first time I saw you, I thought you were a movie star.
I still get butterflies when you lean over to kiss me.
I would be happy to spend all day doing nothing but cuddling with you on the couch.
When I’m in pain, I picture your face and a feeling of calm washes over me.
I realized my dress wasn’t fastened one day when I passed you on the street and I turned to ask you to zip me up…

So rarely do we share these pieces of information with the important people in our lives. We live life, assuming they know. But how would YOU feel if someone told you any of these things?

That your spouse finds you more attractive today than she did the day she met you.
That your girlfriend would sit on the cold floor of a dark long as she was sitting there with you.
That the neighbor you’ve known for years has always considered you stunningly handsome and remarkably trustworthy.

A whole season of birthdays is about to begin. I wonder what will happen if I make the effort to share with everyone in my life exactly what they mean to me. The “secrets” I’ve been keeping for so long.
I wonder what will happen.
What will happen...when they know…?